literature

HieixReader: Rest Up

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Literature Text

Hiei's eyes moved over to the white door that stood just a few feet in front of him. He had lost track of how long he had been leaning against this wall, waiting for that door to open. He shifted slightly and crossed his arms over his chest.


"The doors still shut?" A male voice questioned. His old partner, Kurama, stood against the wall next to him and glanced over at the door. "You know she'll be okay. (Name) is strong."


Hiei grunted. "I was ordered to wait here, that is all." Koenma had ordered the short demon to wait outside the room until further notice. The room was the infirmary, where the latest member of their band of misfits was being treated. You had joined several months ago and had been on many missions with the team, but this was the first time her and Hiei were sent out alone on am assignment. They were ordered to retrieve an artifact that Koenma said could not fall into another demons hands. However, the mission had gone wrong when you both were ambushed. You had been fighting a demon twice your size when you were attacked from behind. You had sustained a deep wound to your side and it had forced Hiei to rush you back here without retrieving the artifact. Kurama had been sent to get it when Koenma had been informed of the mission failure. "You got the item?"


Kurama nodded. "Yes, I was just on my way to give it to Koenma." He put his hand on Hiei's shoulder. "She'll be okay." He patted Hiei's shoulder before walking down the hall. Hiei just clicked his tongue, watching the redhead walk away.


The door across the hall creaked as it opened and Hiei's head snapped up. A woman walked out of the room wearing a white nurse's outfit. She smiled nervously when she saw Hiei. "She's stable and awake. I'm going to go report to Koenma." She bowed her head and quickly rushed down the hall. Hiei watched her for a moment before stepping into the room.


You glanced up as you heard him come in. "Hiei." You frowned. "I'm sorry I got in your way. It's my fault the mission failed."


"Forget it. Kurama got it."


"He did?" You leaned your head back on the pillow. "Well that's something. Still, I'm sorry."


"I said forget it. Saying sorry won't change what happened."


You flinched and closed your eyes. "You're right. I'll inform Koenma that I'll be quitting."


Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"


"I'm obviously not cut out for this. I could have got us both killed during this mission. So I'm going to quit."


He walks over and stood next to the bed. "So you're just going to give up."


"It's safer this way. I don't want to be responsible for you getting killed."


"So you're saying that I'm so weak I can't protect myself? I need you to protect me?"


Your eyes snapped open and you sat up quickly. "N-no that's not what I meant. I-I just don't want to be a burden."


He put his hand on your shoulder and pushes you back so you were lying down again. "You're being a burden right now by talking like that. You're not going to quit and you're going to lie in this bed and get better."


"But..." He gave you a pointed look and you sighed. "Yes sir."


"Good, then rest." He turned and stepped out of the room. You closed your eyes, and it didn't take long before you fell asleep.  


Hours later, you were awoken by feeling of a hand brushing your hair back from your face. You made a small noise and the hand against your cheek stiffened. Your eyes fluttered open and you could faintly make out a figure standing on the side of your bed. It was too dark, but you thought you could make out spiked hair. "Hiei?" There was a breeze and the door was quickly opened and closed as the figure dashed out. You blinked rapidly. Only the anti-social fire demon could move like that.


Days passed and Hiei never came to check on you again. Once you were better you decided to go for a walk and found yourself in the courtyard. In the center was a giant tree, and perched in said tree was the male that had been on your mind these past few days.


You walked over and looked up into the tree. "Hiei?"


He grunted and looked down at you. "So you're out."


You nodded. "I just got out today."


He jumped down from the tree. "Good, you need to train."


"Train?"


"You're not going to get hurt like that again, so we're going to train."


"Hiei," you grinned a bit, "are you worried about me?"


"Tch, hurry up." He started to walk away. You giggled a it and ran after. After all, he didn't say no.

A gift for :iconmoondancer89: for my membership!

Please don't reprint anywhere or ask to write more to this story. Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiei and Yu Yu Hakusho © Yoshihiro Togashi

Story/Fanfiction © :icon13youko:
© 2014 - 2024 13Youko
Comments49
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ViskaVatten's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

There's a captivating emotion from the start to finish with your story. Though short, it has a good balance between the elements to interest readers. My only advice would be to have a beta-reader look over your works for grammar, sentence structure, etc.

It's difficult to catch mistakes in your own work. One major thing I noticed was the changes between past-tense and present-tense. You switch between them and that can be very disruptive to the feeling of the story. For example:

'Hiei raised an eyebrow.' - raised is past-tense.

'He walks over and stood next to the bed.' - walks is present tense, while stood is past-tense.

It's difficult to stay in the same tense throughout a story, but grammatically it should be the same. For the most part you stay in past-tense, so it isn't a huge deal, obviously this is for fun. But if you have someone that wouldn't mind looking over your work before posting, they may be able to give some feedback.

Over all though, I really enjoyed reading it.